This reflection begins in my current location in the central highlands of Mexico. It includes flashbacks to growing up on a large farm in the Midwest – and later returning to be a care partner with my parents. Attempting to tie it together is the focus on music and spirituality in the healing process and what neuroscience tells us in recent years – that we are all affected at the cellular level by our life experiences. It concludes with an invitation to readers to submit their stories for publication.
Morning Has Broken
Morning has broken like the first morning
Blackbird has spoken like the first bird.
Praise with elation, praise every morning
God’s recreation of the new day.
– Songwriters: Cat Stevens / Eleanor Farjeon
The change of venue from a busy street with a steep incline and heavy vehicular traffic … to an all-new pastoral setting within one of Mexico’s ex-haciendas still feels “abrupt.” Continuing to be located in Centro, the new venue is a tranquil setting with quick access to city amenities. It feels right – not unlike having grown up on that beautiful old farm, but being within minutes of cultural events in a college community.
A role model for everyone!
The property owner, Landino – “Landy,” as he is called by his employees, is a role model for everyone. He shared with me that he wants to help those new to his premises to be comfortable so that they will be happy. He is authentic and unassuming with a calm, soft-spoken manner.
He checked in with me daily following the move, while his employees provided personal assistance and were here more quickly than I could ever have wished! He makes it all happen with a quiet, efficient management style. The world needs more Landy’s!
I feel at home – surrounded by grand old trees with the most delicate, fluffy-looking leaves, blue skies, almost-daily sunshine, and crisp mountain air found at 6600 feet.
A new view from the kitchen sink
Landino believes the hacienda dates back to the 1600’s. My casita was added later than other buildings on the property as a garage. Then, twenty years ago, his father worked with an architect to convert it to an apartment. I loved it when I walked in – struck by all the arches, the natural lighting, open concept and spaciousness.
From my view at the kitchen sink, my morning ritual is to look through the foliage covering the kitchen window to see the sun rising over the mountains. As I plug in the morning coffee, I have been experiencing a rush of songs and scripture about mountains.
A favorite Psalm frequently used by my grandfather from the pulpit comes to mind:
I will lift up mine eyes unto the mountains: From whence shall my help come? – Psalms 121:1
Music which comes to mind includes Randall Thompson’s “The Peaceable Kingdom,” performed with Collegiate Chorus as a college freshman.
For ye shall go out with joy, and be led forth with peace: the mountains and the hills shall break forth before you into singing, and all the trees of the fields shall clap their hands. – The Peaceable Kingdom, music by Randall Thompson, Part VI
Playing the old music from ranch days
The quiet in the immediate area of my casita is disrupted occasionally by the drilling and pounding of a project which is underway on my rooftop – the rooftop serving as a patio for the main house. Landy’s employees have been on this project full-time, reminiscent of my childhood while growing up on the farm with Dad and his employees busily working together around his shop.
Returning to my desk after getting everything unpacked and in place, I have been playing old CD’s from the collection compiled while being a care partner with my parents at what we whimsically called “the ranch.”
Now – almost a decade since leaving the ranch – having traveled and made many moves since leaving my hometown – I am in a setting reminiscent of my childhood. I am playing beautiful music which I had purchased specifically with my parents in mind during their final years together. And I’m still pinching myself that I am here.
In addition, I am well aware of advancing into what a renowned sociologist, Sara Lawrence-Lightfoot, author of The Third Chapter – Passion, Risk, and Adventure in the 25 Years after 50, has called the “fourth chapter.”
These moments are, for lack of a better word, awesome.
Perhaps it’s the intermittent, long-delayed grieving for both parents. Or the sudden realization just ten days ago that it was another anniversary of Dad’s passing. Or perhaps it’s the memories of the historic events of recent weeks which bring the rush of tears – rarely experienced since learning of Mother’s diagnosis in 1997.
It feels like a new era. A new beginning. I have found “home” for awhile.
We have this moment
The music which I am now replaying for the first time since leaving the ranch in 2012 was truly a sacred gift. Thanks to Jamie, a care partner in 2001, for providing the sheet music for this rendition at Mother’s annual weekend family reunion! With total five family members including Mother and Dad, all of us wearing silly wigs, we performed, “We Have This Moment.” And Geneva, another care partner skilled in calligraphy, provided the essential props and signage – so that our audience would know when to clap, of course. (“Clap now.”)
We have this moment to hold in our hands
And to touch as it slips
Through our fingers like sand
Yesterday’s gone
And tomorrow may never come
But we have this moment today.
– Songwriters: Bill Gaither / Gloria L Gaither
Following this rendition for cousins, aunts, and uncles, we just never stopped singing gospel music and listening to Gaither albums. As I have noted in other posts, Mother and I sang all genres of music at the piano every day. But the colorful imagery of the Gaither recordings fit us so well during these days together. The music took me back to my early years when hearing and performing gospel music was a part of our experience.
“Music is the literature of the heart; it commences where speech ends.” – Alphonse de Lamartine
Mother knew the lyrics of many gospel songs, and Dad would often be seen tapping his toe – something I never before witnessed. The music created a joyful, other-worldly environment which drew us together. It lifted us out of any sense of “ordinary routine.” Nothing was “ordinary” or “routine.” Every day was sacred ground.
“Beautiful music is the art of the prophets that can calm the agitations of the soul; it is one of the most magnificent and delightful presents God has given us.” – Martin Luther
Following Dad’s admission to hospice, this number became “Dad’s Anthem.” When it played, I noted he stopped whatever he was doing to listen. If being fed, he stopped eating. If reading the newspaper, he put it down to look and listen quietly to the DVD. Activities continued bustling around the great room, but he was on “pause,” very attentive, and very alert.
I don’t know about tomorrow
I just live from day to day
I don’t borrow from its sunshine
For its skies may turn to grey.
– Songwriters: Bill Gaither / Gloria L Gaither
“More than the music”
Over our years together at the ranch, the impact of hearing and making good music was more than the pleasure and enjoyment of music. From science, we now know that music can transform our cognition, our behavior, and who we become. These moments of joy affected our whole being – body, mind, and spirit. Our essence resulted from the care of the soul through music: “soul care.”
Stories help us remember: To heal, we must remember
Having just observed the one-year anniversary of launching A Beautiful Voice, our posts will assume a somewhat new focus in upcoming months. During my relocation, Gaby and Zyan continued working behind the scenes to finalize the revised presentation for launch.
In upcoming posts, we will be focusing on the healing process. Readers will be invited to write about their experiences upon receiving or providing dementia care and submit their articles for publication. Gradually, we will be broadening this invitation to include a range of additional topics impacting people living with dementia and their care partners.
This period of historic change – uncertainty, loss, and mourning for so many – will serve as the backdrop from which the invitation will be extended. This walk through our collective grief – about extraordinary people who took their final breath alone – accentuates our need for finding purpose going forward.
What kind of music provides you comfort and healing? What poetry soothes your soul?
The lyrics of beautiful music and the poetry of the Psalms
More information is coming soon. Until then, here are the choristers from the Canterbury Cathedral performing the identical arrangement which our high school girls choir – back in the Midwest – performed at state contest earning a superior rating.
From neuroscience, we know that our experiences affect every cell of our being! But when it’s the lyrics of beautiful music and the poetry of the Psalms, what could be better for these challenging days?
Please stay tuned.
Mendelssohn’s Lift Thine Eyes sung by the choristers of Canterbury Cathedral
Author: Susan Troyer
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